Category: Parenting
Mom ~ 5 Ways to Show Up for Yourself
You deserve to be nourished and honored as the radically capable and loving woman you are – and you’re just the person for the job.
But wait, is your inner “guilty mom monster” siphoning away all motivation for you to dip into the harmonizing waters of self-care instead sticking you in a perpetuating cycle of putting your own needs last?
Let’s be done with that – let’s move you up on your list of priorities.
Begin weaving the following practices into your daily way of being so you can blossom into the most vibrant version of you.
- Separate Your Emotions from Your Child’s. Do you feel intrinsically linked with your child’s well-being? Do you hurt when they hurt? Do you fill with joy when they fill with joy? While these shared emotions can be a testament to the strength of the mother-child bond, they also prevent you from supporting your child without fracturing your equilibrium.
SupaPass Channel Welcome Video
Hi mamas!
My friends in the UK have created a supa (!) fun app and website calledSupaPass where you can stream content from your favorite recording artists, tv personalities, and friendly neighborhood birth professionals 😀
All of my videos and relaxation recordings can be streamed there, and I will be adding exclusive content to the channel such as book excerpts and blog posts.
The site is available to all, not just the Brits. And, it’s less than $3 a month to subscribe. Check it out! https://SupaPass.com/FengShuiMommy
Mother & Baby Bonding: An excerpt from Feng Shui Mommy
There has never been and never again will be a child just like yours. Even though babies are born every day, the birth of your baby is sacred, unique, and extraordinary.
Connecting to this unique heart energy of your baby will be a profound experience for you, allowing your internal trapdoor of love to release. Physical nourishment aside, physically and emotionally bonding with your baby is the surest way to build a secure base that will provide your child confidence, support, love, and abundant health for the rest of her life. Developing a harmonic connection with your baby is what it’s all about.
Your relationship with your rapidly growing and changing baby is fluid and dynamic, and that you have the chance to grow and learn to be a better communicator, better partner, and better parent as you incorporate this new relationship into your family constellation. This chapter will also support you in finding that place that is so deep in yourself there are no words — only love. You have a limited number of vowels and consonants but an unlimited supply of love that will support you in forging an everlasting connection with your child.
Creating Your Birth Sanctuary Excerpt From Feng Shui Mommy
If you like what you hear, go here 🙂 And you can make my day (week, year!) by leaving a quick review.
Dissolving Fear Through Acceptance Excerpt From Feng Shui Mommy
Every Amazon reviewer will receive a free download code for my online childbirth course 🙂
Live Pregnancy and Childbirth Course
Hi friends!
I have so many lovely readers and potential clients all over the world, so… I’m super excited to announce that I’m now offering an online LIVE pregnancy and childbirth course! Yee haw!
For more info, click here, or down there.
How to Tell Your Kids They Were Made Using Someone Else’s DNA
Terry’s hand was shaking as she asked, “What if they hate me after I tell them? What if they want to move in with their father? He’s the only parent genetically related to them.” Then she started crying. I held her. We were about to tell her 4-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter that they were conceived using donor eggs.
We walked into her living room where her son was draping blankets across a web of chairs and her daughter was scrolling through her phone. As she told her children the truth about their genetics, her daughter looked bored and her son stood up half way through the talk and continued with his fort.
After she finished her delicately prepared speech we asked if they had any questions. Her daughter said, “So, was my donor famous? Can I tell my friends she’s famous? This is cool.” And her son interjected with, “Can we go get ice cream?” They seemed unfazed.
I stayed with her as we presented answers to questions that weren’t asked and when I reached for her hand I noticed she had stopped shaking—she was smiling.
I checked in two weeks later and she reported her children had asked a few more questions but seemed more interested in the egg donation than confused or upset.
Terry is a member of a growing group of moms: Today, as more and more women are focusing on advancing their careers before stepping into motherhood, the average age of conception continues to rise. Data released by the CDC shows that the number of women waiting to have children until their mid-thirties to early-forties is increasing, meaning that more women will likely require IVF (in vitro fertilization), often coupled with egg or sperm donation, as egg and sperm count and quality decrease with age.
Pregnancy and Birth Story Excerpt From Feng Shui Mommy
If you’re into the book, and decide to write an Amazon review (yay!) I’ll send you a custom relaxation recording 🙂
Motherhood Collages
I thought a lot about motherhood yesterday – how it has changed me, how it has reinforced traits I had before pregnancy, how it confuses and astounds me.
Then, I meditated for the first time in five months because I was given the ultimate #MothersDay gift: TIME.
As I meditated, I saw myself as an outline filled with hundreds of images and it was beautiful. It blew my mind… and my body… and my spirit.
We are never just one thing. As we grow and evolve, especially through pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood, we gain new layers, slough off those that no longer serve, and live life as dynamic and complex beings.
This (and all my free time!) inspired me to create collages based on the personalities, interests, fears, and dreams of the powerful women I have worked with – and am.
You can find them all here, http://www.baileygaddis.com/motherhood-collages.html
And I’ve attached a few for your perusal.
xo Bailey
P.S. Because I’m on a “get Amazon reviews for book!” kick, I’ll send you your own custom mama collage if you leave a quick review, and then let me know 🙂
#pregnancy #motherhood #childbirth #photocollage
Introduction Chapter Excerpt From Feng Shui Mommy
Order your copy here 🙂 And, if you leave a review I will #1 be super honored (!) and #2 send you a custom relaxation recording.
Excerpt from Feng Shui Mommy
If you like what you see… order here 🙂
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The most zealous of all the sperm has nuzzled into your waiting egg, and it’s all systems go. Your body (and mind, and spirit) are now pooling their reserves of building blocks to create a new human. How do you feel about that? Thrilled? Terrified? In denial? Whatever your answer is, it is perfect. Pregnancy is the epitome of change, and it’s your prerogative to completely freak out (in a good or bad way) over this development. It’s strange to have a brand-new person growing inside of you! It’s extraordinary! It is an everyday miracle in a global sense, but a cataclysmic shift in a personal sense. You are allowed to break down, whatever that looks like for you. There’s no time when it’s more socially acceptable to “lose it” than when you find out you’re pregnant. And by losing it, you just might find all of it.
Pregnancy can trigger an identity crisis. You are no longer the person you thought you were, but you are not yet the person you will become. It’s a time of awesome transition and change, which is always scary. Becoming a mother doesn’t mean you stop being yourself — your fun Self, your carefree Self, your sensual Self. What it does mean is that you have the unique opportunity to become the person you truly want to be, the person you’re meant to be: a woman who experiences herself as centered, whole, and stronger than she’s ever been before, your true Self. During this time, your feng shui, composed of the energy connecting your mind, body, and spirit, is shaken up in the great cosmic maternal martini shaker — and you don’t even get to have a drink! But once the head spinning slows, you will find that you have more resources, more resilience, and more creativity than ever before.
It’s All Connected
Because you are a holistic being, your mind, body, and spirit are designed to work together in a state of dynamic fluidity, constantly realigning around your optimal balance point. When you bring awareness to this connectivity, you allow powerful change to happen.
Pregnancy is a profound chapter of life, for sure, but it’s not the whole story. What pregnancy offers is a chance to get your holistic house in order so you are beautifully prepared for the rest of your life. Now is the time to find your joyful and courageous core. Now is the time to connect with your authentic and best Self.
Eating fried bacon–wrapped pastries for breakfast but thinking happy thoughts won’t optimize your holistic connection. Doing an hour of yoga while focusing on the stressful tasks you have to do afterward won’t optimize your holistic connection. Removing your partner’s action figure collection from the bedroom while panicking about your future ability to breastfeed won’t optimize your holistic connection. What will optimize it is becoming grounded in your experience, learning to express your needs, and finding the right kind of support.
How to Have an Epic Family Vacation in Squaw Valley
After traveling multiple hours on ground or air, with restless children in tow, many parents want a one-stop shop for fun, food and accommodations, happy if they never have to look at their crumb filled vehicle the entirety of the trip.
Squaw Valley has answered this prayer, crafting a village that offers nosh for all palates, ski runs for every level of courage, hotel rooms with a mix of luxury and minimal breakables (I’m looking at you mischievous tots) and live music that makes even the tiniest of feet burst into dance.
If family vacations full of equal parts thrill, relaxation and simplicity are your jam, use the following guide to relish the goodness of Squaw Valley.
Find Your Peace at Wanderlust Yoga Studio: This studio has multiple classes geared to prepping your body (and mind, and spirit) for a stellar day of skiing, and for restoring your muscles after that last run. The variety of offerings sprinkled throughout the schedule allow flexibility for you and your fellow child-sitter to each catch a class.
Entertain Your Kids at the Children’s Program: Because most children loathe being taught sports (or anything) by their parents, let a trained instructor ignite your child’s passion and skill for skiing or snowboarding. This program accommodates children three to thirteen years of age and ups the fun ante by utilizing kid-specific tools and games during instruction. And because we parents are nosy, the instructors provide a post-lesson report card detailing your little skier’s skill and cognitive-based progress.
Author Interview for Feng Shui Mommy
Note: Because I can be a total verbal klutz I said “childcare provider” when I meant to say “medical care provider”. See if you can find the snafu! 😛
Preorder your copy now on Amazon or Barnes & Noble
Birth Transformed: How to Dissolve Fear
A sneak peak of the prenatal and postpartum preparation online course Taryn Longo (women’s transformation teacher and birth doula… and badass) and I are releasing Mid-May on BirthTransformed.com (website to be birthed the same days as the course!)
“Mind/Body/Spirit Principles are finally showing up in the world of pregnancy/childbirth” – First Early Review!
The first early review of Feng Shui Mommy is in! Many thanks Anna Jedrziewski at Retailing Insight!
“Mind/Body/Spirit principles are finally showing up in the world of pregnancy/childbirth and Gaddis is at the forefront of it. Her own pregnancy was an unexpected push in a new philosophical direction and she has made the most of it. Finding limited information to help her through the shift and making the rest up as she went along, she made careful note of not only what kept her going but also helped her to maximize the new experiences toward enlightenment (and a return to sanity). She tells readers that it begins by getting honest. The feelings are messy (beginning with the sudden blow to personal identity) but they must be faced if one is to find the buried treasures contained within the powerful experience of bringing another soul into incarnation. Gaddis used the five elements of Feng Shui, applied to three levels (physical, mental, spiritual), to anchor her perceptions and process what she was experiencing. With or without that framework, she has written a book which offers pregnant women and new mothers a way to maintain balance in all areas of their lives and always find the joy in what is an extremely stressful process.”
– Anna Jedrziewski at Retailing Insight
Inside the NYC Music Scene with The Delancey Five Leader Svetlana Shmulyian
There are many voices flowing through New York City’s music venues, but few as alluring as Svetlana Shmulyian – a woman who channels the essence of Ella Fitzgerald, while mixing in an aural flavor that’s all her own.
Svetlana is the leader of the swing band The Delancey Five, and a regular at many of the jazz clubs and speakeasies that together form a web of old school musical magic. But, as intriguing as Svetlana’s pipes are, I’m equally enthralled by the fact that she’s churning out all this goodness while also being the mother to three young girls (go team mompreneurs!)
Below is your key into the mind of one of the most badass ladies gracing the most interesting stages in New York.
Bailey Gaddis: Any advice for NYC tourists wanting to make the most of their time being immersed in the city’s music offerings.
Svetlana Shmulyian: It all depends on what you want to see! NYC has a “scene” for everything – whether you are into avant-garde jazz, or swing dancing, or salsa, reggae, or indie rock – there are multiple spaces to listen to this specific kind of music and mix with other lovers of it.
There are highbrow spots and underground spots for every kind of music, each offering a unique experience – and an “only in New York” thing to do is to experience these different spots in the same night! So, search online for a specific kind of music you are interested in, on a specific date, and go to a high-brow show at 8pm (for example, Dizzy’s Club Coca Cola for jazz and swing), grab a small plate or a snack after (like a falafel or noodles in Greenwich Village), and then “club-hop” through a few hidden speakeasy spots, like Mezzrow, Back Room, or Smalls for an after hours jam session.
BG: Being a mom, how do you find time to explore the live music in NYC? Do your daughters enjoy jazz and swing music?
SS: I mainly explore the live music scene when I perform – and then stay later to check out after-hours shows of friends, or other acts I am interested in. On the nights I do not work, I prefer to stay home with my daughters, unless there is a very special show going on.
On the other hand, attending shows is part of a continuous education and improvement for anyone – and a feeding of the soul, so I try to do it as much as I can. That said, keeping a work-life balance is a challenge for any working mom, being a musician mom is no exception – we all do the best we can!
My daughters like jazz and swing – my older one is exploring other genres in her school orchestra, band and chorus. My little one always asks me to put my record on in the car and knows all my songs by heart!
BG: What inspired you to put together flashmobs? What is that process like?
SS: The idea to create a flashmob came from dancers themselves, and one of the swing DJs that often work with my band (DJ Douglas McMilan). The idea stems from our love for swing music and swing dancing, and is meant to celebrate a great community of swing dancers, and our beautiful town of New York. Because of these factors, we wanted to pick a dramatic spot against which the dancers and the band can be best seen, listened to, and danced to – Times Square!
The infectious vibe of our first event gained momentum for the gathering, and the following summer’s event went viral with several thousand people RSVP-ing, and hundreds of people actually attending. Our flashmob this summer, around SeaGlass Carousel, was profiled on WPIX 11 with live music and dancing at 8am (clearly way too early, but still very cool!). And our last flashmob was, once again, conducted in Times Square on Halloween night, and was listed in Time Out New York as the top free event to do on Halloween. Our next Times Square flashmob will once again take place in Times Square – all the information will be listed on the band’s Facebook page, and the website, where folks can find videos and photos of the last year’s events!
BG: What are you currently working on?
SS: I am currently working up songs for my next album, which will be a Volume Two of Night at the Speakeasy (our first album produced by Guy Eckstine, featuring Wycliffe Gordon). The vibe will remain ‘swing’ and ‘music that makes you smile,’ as the first album did. But, I will continue to develop my voice through the new original songs, some of which may go outside of the swing idiom, while definitely still retaining a vintage feel, and a feeling of ‘social music’ (a term coined first by Miles Davis and today championed by Jon Batiste).
‘Social music’ is music for your mind (sophisticated music played by first rate musicians), your feet (music you can dance and move to!), and your heart (music that will make you feel warm and welcome to the world of art, imagination and music).
I also enjoyed having special guests on the first album and will continue this tradition in the second album. I wrote several songs, some with my songwriting collaborator, Ryan Smith, and received permission to record original songs written, and arranged by, friends and collaborators – Wycliffe Gordon, Jay Rattman, Ruby Choy, and others.
I am also working on the birthday show that will include some of this new material for the performance at Joe’s Pub (date pending for early March).
In honor of the chilly weather flowing across the United States, check out Svetlana’s rendition of Baby It’s Cold Outside.
*This article has been edited and condensed.
Nobody Told Me Weaning Would Be So Damn Hard
I felt a heavy ball of mourning in the pit of my stomach the last time I breastfed my son; physically, it felt like there was a cheese grater scraping over my nipples (I knew it was time to stop), but emotionally, I felt like we could go on forever. My body had been weaning him for the previous six months, supplying less and less nectar, requiring heightened sucking and ample nip-soreness.
I began the cold turkey weaning with the white lie, “Not right now,” when he would ask to nurse. I was lying to us both, giving him the illusion that at a time that wasn’t “right now” I’d let him nurse, and I was giving my self the illusion that the most intense form of bonding either of us had ever known wasn’t really over.
After a week of “not right nows,” my son and my emotions caught on and we cried hard. Our relationship had forever shifted, and my relationship with my self was thrown into a blender.
Breastfeeding was like my parenting “fail safe”; what I could rely on to make myself feel like a decent parent even if I’d been distracted and totally un-fun that day. It was my mommy reset button.
Birth of Fawn Folk: The Family Bundle Service Inspiring You to Follow Your Heart
Note: I’m not affiliated with Fawn Folk or Ojai Baby, I just LOVE this idea, and supporting change-making mompreneurs.
Visions of dirty factories, underpaid workers, and unraveling threads fill my mind when I flip through children’s clothing at a box store, or browse the digi-mega-marts. I get sad and overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn for quality products that won’t just be good for my son’s skin, but the wellbeing of our global community.
Enter Fawn Folk, an online bundle service delivering gender-neutral, high quality, unique, handmade, fair-trade and organic items to customer’s doorsteps. (Insert a choir of angels humming in my ear.) Score!
The child bundles will be tailored made to suit the current age of your little one, while the mother bundle will provide goodies that add value and ease to the your life, versus more useless stuff you need to find a place for. A bundle for men is also in the works, honoring the fact that there are many men just as passionate in their role of parent as their partner. How can you go wrong with handmade items, which are prime candidates for becoming heirloom items?
The founder of Fawn Folk, Lisa July Lynch, is a fellow resident of mine in Ojai, CA, a small town for people with big ideas and even bigger hearts. Lisa is the owner of the brick-and-mortar Ojai Baby store, which is a haven for Ojai parents looking for clothing they can be proud to put on their children. Lisa stands behind her decision to provide artisan fair-trade products explaining, “If we demand high quality fair-trade items for our children and selves more businesses will demand them and that’s the magic, that’s the real change we are looking for.”
But, Lisa decided that creating change in one already-progressive town wasn’t enough, she wanted to spread the supply and demand of consciously sourced items to the rest of the nation, which is what spawned her new Fawn Folk endeavor. Lisa notes, “The journey [to the launch of Fawn Folk] has been joyous and extremely intimidating; it’s constantly evolving. I have had so much support from my partner and group of friends- their support and belief in my vision is what gets me through the doubtful times.”
Lisa lived by the credo “feel the fear and do it anyways” by allowing her inner-voice and heart to lead her in this “big picture” direction. And she’s not the only one to financially benefit from this heart-based business; part of the mission is to offer products made by “mom and pop” style creators across the United States, and “consignment bundles” whose second-hand, yet superior-quality, items will be provided by parents who send in treasures they love, but no longer have a use for.
Lisa stated, “If I listen to my heart, and provide a space for even more people to be able to listen to their heart, and do what they love while earning income, I can’t imagine a better business choice.”
This cycle of love Lisa has infused into her business was not happenstance. Lisa explained, “Everything has energy, if someone is loving what they are making, or feeling that they are being reimbursed fairly for what they are making, that energy flows into their creations and that energy is transferred to the end user.”
Has Lisa’s journey through fear, heart-fueled triumph, and propagation of love through purpose-driven business inspired you to shift your dreams from shape-shifting ideas to reality?
Here’s her final push for you to say yes to your heart, “Do not be afraid to put yourself out there. Years ago, I drove by the consignment store I wanted to consign my paintings to a few dozen times before I finally stopped the car and took them in. I was sure they would laugh at me. My mom and husband loved my work, but that was probably their obligation. Or so I told myself. All the paintings sold and they called me to paint more. Had I not taken that first step I don’t think I would have opened a retail store, and I don’t think I would be here talking about Ojai Baby and Fawn Folk. Take the first step.”
I’ll do it with you… ready, set, step into your purpose.
P.S. Feng Shui Mommies get 10% off their Fawn Folk purchase, plus a bonus gift, when you enter the code mamatribe at check out. Yay for surprise gifts!
Go to FawnFolk.com to explore the treasures.
A Musician’s Journey Through Success, Heartache & Reclaiming Her Gift of Creation: Interview with Leslie Nuchow
Illness and new life required Leslie Nachow’s attention flow from her music to her family after her acclaimed album Tenderland debuted in 1998. Now, eighteen years later Leslie has re-opened the gates to her creativity, and birthed her next album Balm for Gilead. Leslie wrote the songs for the album two weeks after her mother passed away, infusing it with authentic emotion and poignancy that makes a direct strike at the heart. There will be tears while listening to this album, but, as they trickle out, love will pour in.
Because Leslie is such a gifted writer, I wanted her to share, in her own poetic vernacular, what the journey from Tenderland to Balm for Gilead looked (and felt) like.
Bailey: The struggle of harmonizing the nourishment of creative needs with caring for loved ones is such a challenge, especially when one of your loved ones is ill. What was it like to set aside music to be the caretaker for both your mother and son? How did Emily support you through this transition?
Bailey Gaddis Blog 