Parenting | Pregnancy | Childbirth
The ingredients to avoid + look for in baby sunscreen, in addition to other tips for protecting baby’s sensitive skin.
If you would like more information about these topics, check out my book “Feng Shui Mommy: Creating Balance and Harmony for Blissful Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood” – https://www.amazon.com/Feng-Shui-Mommy-Childbirth-Motherhood/dp/1608684717
*Guest post by Emily Graham from Might Moms
You’ve brought your baby home, settled into life as new parents, and now you’re ready to start thinking about acting like a couple again. But wait — you’re breastfeeding around the clock, you feel jiggly all over, and you can’t remember what it was like to put on clothing that wasn’t stretchy and covered in spit up. That’s motherhood (and it is glorious), but having a third human around all the time can make it tough to connect with the one who helped you make your family.
But you have to keep your relationship a priority. One mistake that many moms make is letting that aspect of their life take a backseat to their responsibility as a caregiver. If you’re wondering how to do it while still rocking the nursing bra, put the baby down for a nap and keep reading.
Start by dividing the chores! This can’t be underscored enough. If you are at home with the baby, it is easy to feel like the house is your domain. But it is not just yours, and you are also taking care of another human. You can’t expect to have time with your partner if you are constantly doing housework in the few rare moments when your baby does not need your undivided attention. Divide the household chores and let your partner do the dishes now and then. This will give you time for a shower (and maybe even to shave your legs!) so you can devote your evening to cuddling on the couch.
Other ideas to help you enjoy some one-on-one are to cook dinner together, which Foodal stresses can improve all aspects of your relationship, play board games when your baby sleeps, clean together, sit down and plan a family vacation, or simply turn the TV off at night and talk instead of the customary Netflix-and-chill session.
At some point, you and your partner will be ready to resume the more romantic aspects of your relationship. This can pose a challenge for many of the reasons we’ve already mentioned. Intimacy after childbirth is not the same as it was; keep this in mind and you can find a new approach to sex that works for you both. Kindred Bravely covers the topic of sex after childbirth thoroughly in a recent blog post and smartly suggests maintaining an open line of communication about your sexual desires and preferences. After all, your body has been through a lot, you may have engorged breasts or are still healing after a C-section. There is no need to rush, and it is perfectly fine to let your husband know that you are or are not ready.
Something to keep in mind as you learn to reconnect with your partner is that your feelings for them may have changed. It is not unusual to experience feelings of resentment, especially when you’ve been home nursing a baby all day and your partner has been out in the real world, with adults, after having had a shower and a full night’s sleep. But remember, they may also be jealous that you are forging closer bonds with your child than they can at this point. Rest assured that these feelings are temporary, but they are important to acknowledge and talk about so that you aren’t compounding the problem by not getting it off your chest.
There is no way to predict how having a baby will change your relationship. The only thing that is certain is that it will. The first few months are chaotic, and you will get into a routine that is vastly different than what you are used to. Make sure to include your partner by dividing responsibilities and making a conscious effort to be a wife instead of just a mom.
Image via Pexels
Letting motherhood enhance who you are, instead of erase who you are.
Email me at BaileyGaddis@yahoo.com if you have any questions about pregnancy, childbirth or early motherhood that you would like answered on this channel 🙂
If you would like more information about these topics, check out Feng Shui Mommy: Creating Balance and Harmony for Blissful Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood – https://www.amazon.com/Feng-Shui-Momm…
Why we should feel less guilty about our kids seeing us when we’re down.
Email me at BaileyGaddis@yahoo.com if you have any questions about pregnancy, childbirth or early motherhood that you would like answered on this channel 🙂
If you would like more information about these topics, check out Feng Shui Mommy: Creating Balance and Harmony for Blissful Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood – https://www.amazon.com/Feng-Shui-Momm…
By: Ashley Taylor of DisabledParents.org
Parenthood is a blessing and a responsibility, a profound lifestyle change that places a premium on self-sacrifice and preparedness. For disabled individuals, preparing to care for a child means preparing your lives for a new routine, a new home environment, and sourcing sometimes difficult-to-find equipment that helps make an often-demanding job a little easier to handle.
If you’re a disabled parent, focus on making sure your home is readily accessible, safe for you and your child, and has the parenting equipment you need. If your home just isn’t up to the challenge, you should be prepared to research houses that suit your budget and physical needs.
You can research home prices for your area in the comfort of your living room, and find the best deal to accommodate the needs of yourself and your growing family.
Every modification you make should be done with safety in mind, first and foremost. Be sure that all heavy furniture is firmly anchored to the wall, have safety gates installed in all stairways, and add special cupboard locks at floor level. Some of these precautions may seem a little premature for a family just bringing home a newborn, but getting used to a fully kid-proofed home is good practice for everyone.
If you or your spouse is in a wheelchair, add threshold ramps between rooms to ensure there’s no obstacle that might prevent you from reaching your child quickly. Hallways should be at least 36 inches across and doorways a minimum of 32 inches wide (add expandable hinges to create easier access).
Pay special attention to the bathroom, one of the most dangerous rooms in the house where more falls take place on average than in any other part of the home. Grab rails should be installed in the bathtub and in the wall next to the toilet. Slips can also be prevented with skid-resistant flooring strategically placed around the sink, tub and toilet.
A well-modified home is an important part of preparing to be an excellent parent. The other part is having the right tools on hand, preferably ones specially designed to make parenting with a disability as easy as possible. Someone with a physical disability is apt to experience difficulty dealing with a traditional crib or getting a child in and out of a car safety seat, a demanding task for any new parent. This is another area where diligent online research can pay dividends.
For example, side-entry cribs are available, but finding one that’s right for you may take a little work. Swiveling child safety seats are a bit easier to find but no less helpful when it comes to easy accessibility and convenience. Being in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t take your child for a walk in a stroller. A careful application of velcro connecting the stroller handle to your wheelchair allows you and your child to enjoy the fresh air together whenever you like.
Even the most effective home modifications won’t keep you from getting tired and feeling worn down periodically. Disabled parents require enough down time to recharge their batteries and enjoy some R and R. Prioritize your own free time so you have enough to set aside for yourself. Be prepared to say “no” at work and with acquaintances when you need a little “you” time.
Your time should include activities and a self-care routine that’s yours and yours alone, and these should be kept sacrosanct to make sure they take place. Arrange it so you and your spouse both have some time to yourselves. If you’re a single parent, reach out to a friend or relative who can babysit so you can run errands or enjoy a coffee out with friends.
Becoming a parent is a transition, and it takes time to get used to a new lifestyle. For disabled individuals, there’s a lot of adjusting to do to make your living space safe and accessible for a young child, but don’t neglect your own needs. To be a good parent, you need to be well-rested and energetic, which means taking time for yourself when needed.
When you’re a mama to fur babies, it can be tricky when an actual baby comes into the mix. Pets are often highly intuitive and can experience everything from jealousy to depression when a strange new creature enters their home – especially when this creature is garnering so much of your time and attention. These emotions can be so big that the initial introduction between pet and baby can be fraught with stress; but it doesn’t have to be. With enough planning, loving action, and clear boundaries the immersion of your baby’s presence into your pet’s life can be an exciting and heart-warming experience.
If your pet has undesirable habits like jumping on people, destroying furniture, barking at everyone and everything, or forgetting where to use the potty, it’s ideal to support them in working their way out of those habits before your baby arrives. Animals are incredibly in tune with the vibes their owner is putting off, so if you’re stressed about the extra hassle they’re stirring up for you, it will likely be more difficult for them to make a connection with the baby.
Over the past year I’ve had more and more clients report issues with their children experiencing cyber bullying, and have even had some of my younger clients relay their first hand experiences with it. So, I’m happy to publish this guest post from Anna Blake who recently released an educational children’s book on Internet safety.
By: Anna Blake
Cyber bullying is becoming an epidemic and it has a serious impact on the mental health of both children and adults. You or your child can fall victim to cyber bullies at any time, even if you did not in any way engage with the perpetrators or provoke the attack. It is important to know how to prevent cyber bullying before it gets out of hand.
You should actively monitor your children’s online activities, so you can identify possible cyber bullying situations. The internet provides a level of disconnect that emboldens cyber bullies to say and do things they wouldn’t do in the real world. Your child may not know how to handle these attacks, so it is up to you to step in and handle the situation for them.
Make sure to take screenshots and save any audio or video messages, if you can. If the cyber bullies are known to you or your child, take appropriate action to report their behavior. For younger kids, you can inform the school, as most districts have a proactive policy that aims to stamp out cyber bullying. Otherwise, you may need to contact the police and determine whether the issue is within the realm of their cyber bullying unit, or to ask for a referral to a local organization that can help.
Tell your child not to engage with the cyber bullies and block them once you have enough evidence of potentially unlawful activities. It is also essential you protect you or your child’s personal information, as cyber bullies will use it as a threat or means to intimidate. Ideally, you will have had a conversation with your child about not sharing personal information in group chats, forums, or social media platforms that they wouldn’t share in the real world.
If you notice your child does not want to spend as much time online, it may indicate she is being cyber bullied. Handle the situation gently and discuss reasons why she does not want to go online. You cannot help your child resolve the issue if there is a barrier to communication. Cyber bullying can cause a child to feel embarrassed and weak, so an understanding and empathetic approach is ideal.
Look and listen for signs of cyber bullying when your child is online. Preferably, online devices should only be used when you are in the room and able to effectively monitor what is going on, without encroaching too much on your child’s internet time. If a child is making a conscious effort to hide the device screen, it should set off alarm bells that something is not right.
Children are not as equipped to handle conflict as adults are, so monitor your child’s emotions while online. If she seems angry or upset, there is a very good chance it is due to cyber bullying. Encouraging your child to discuss their problems at this stage may prove difficult. However, you need to establish what is going on in order to help.
When a child changes her name on social media or creates a completely different account for no apparent reason, she is likely being stalked and tormented by cyber bullies. If you ignore these signs, the issue will only escalate to the point where your child feels there is nowhere left to turn. She will become withdrawn and emotionally distressed in social situations. This is the time where you must let your child know you are a trusted ally who will stand by her side.
Due to the fact that cyber bullying has become such a serious problem, there is plenty of support available for parents and kids. If you are finding it difficult to help your child, don’t be afraid to reach out to schools, public authorities, and any local support groups that are involved in combating cyber bullying.
About Anna Blake
Anna is a stay at home mom, wife and owner of very demanding cat, from sunny Chatsworth, California. When she is not busy chasing her 2 year old around, you can find her trying out new salad recipes or re-watching favorite chick-flick movies.
Together with her hubby they educate kids and adults about internet safety through their website and recently created an educational children’s book Internet Kids – Road Trip.
*Quoted as expert
As a kid, I would flip through my baby book, hoping my mom had filled in some of the blanks while I was sleeping or at school. But every time I took the book off its shelf, I saw the same barren pages between the faded pale yellow covers. Listed were the date and time of my birth, my birth weight, a lock of hair from my first haircut … and that was all. I promised myself that if I ever became a parent, I wouldn’t start a baby book if I couldn’t commit to the project. As an adult, I know that I’m amazing at starting projects. But finishing them? Not so much.
This is why I’ve never owned a baby book.
It turns out, I’m not alone. In the age of the smartphone, many parents are finding the traditional baby book just doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t mean those of us who are sans baby book aren’t capturing the important moments. There are plenty of ways to hold onto the milestones, the mispronunciations that are too cute to correct, and everything in between – while letting go of the pressure to fill in the blanks.
. . .
There is nothing quite like a video to preserve a moment. At the end of each year, Bailey Gaddis, the Ojai, California mother and author of “Feng Shui Mommy,” creates a “Year in Review” video montage of all the short takes she’s recorded of her four-year-old son throughout the year. Not only does the video showcase milestones and random sweet and funny moments, Bailey loves that they double as holiday gifts for the grandparents. As an added bonus, videos won’t create clutter.
One of the most common questions I get about Feng Shui Mommy is “What’s the deal with the section on the Fourth Trimester? What the heck is the Fourth Trimester?”
The first three months of a baby’s life out of the womb are referred to by many as the “fourth trimester” – while the baby is no longer in the womb they are still helpless in so many ways and fully dependent on their mother.
These first three months out of the womb are also the first third of what is sometimes referred to as “exterior gestation.” This term comes from the belief that infants are born before their brains are fully matured (because their heads would be too large to fit through the birth path at full maturity) so, their brains finish growing when they are outside the womb.
During this “fourth trimester” the mother can no longer just take care of herself and trust that her baby will receive all he requires (as he did in the first three trimesters), she now has to be really intentional about caring for her own needs, while also of course caring for her infant who is now much more demanding than he was in the womb – it can be incredibly challenging/ overwhelming / (insert your favorite emotional adjective here)!
So, beyond the support I offer for the fourth trimester in Feng Shui Mommy I am now certified to teach HypnoMothering!
HypnoMothering is a 2.5 hour class for moms to be, new mothers, and moms of young children. Developed by two hypnotherapists, each a mother of twins, this fun, practical class teaches mothers easy and fast self-hypnosis techniques to make the most of limited sleep, keep calm and balanced on challenging days, and find focus and mindfulness amidst the myriad of feelings that mothers face.
Loving that still shot.
As a small business owner, Bailey Gaddis often hauls out this family favorite come dinner time. To make, she says, “spread organic refried beans on a whole wheat tortilla, sprinkle on some cheese, and cover with 8-10 pieces of spinach. Fold into a burrito. Then, heat 1 tablespoon of butter in a pan and cook for about 4-5 minutes on each side. Let the burrito cool, get out the salsa and tortilla chips, and enjoy!”
There are a ton of tools the savvy parent can use to combat tantrum-induced doom. Deep breathing helps. Calling in backup helps. Exercising helps. I use all of these, but I’m always looking for more ways to stay balanced.
That’s why I reached out to Bailey Gaddis, author of the new book Feng Shui Mommy: Creating Balance and Harmony for Blissful Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood. Bailey is a childbirth prep educator and birth doula with experience as a home organizer in Los Angeles. She uses an emphasis on feng shui and has worked a great deal with the emotions and energy that various colors produce.
She has been kind enough to provide the color guide and an excerpt from her book to help me (and every other parent) use the color we bring into our environments as a source of positive energy.
If nothing else, arming yourself with this info is a great reminder of the mood you want to be in, and as a result you will likely get there faster.
After 146 years Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey took its last bow this May. Feld Entertainment, the owners of the circus and other popular family entertainment shows, like Monster Jam and Disney on Ice, made the historic decision to close the show when ticket sales declined, a direct result of moving their pachyderm performers to the Center for Elephant Conservation.
The decision to retire the elephants—the beginning of the end—wasn’t easy for the Felds. In many ways, the animals were the core of a show that has been an American family tradition for as long as the institution of baseball. The childhood of the Feld sisters, Nicole, Alana and Juliette, was built on that show.
The closure announcement was met with mixed reviews—a sense of victory from some animal rights groups, loss from families that enjoy the circus, and an amalgam of nostalgia, heartbreak and hopefulness from the three Feld sisters. Along with their father Kenneth, they ran the day-to-day operations of the third-generation family business, and were the ones tasked with making this challenging choice.
You deserve to be nourished and honored as the radically capable and loving woman you are – and you’re just the person for the job.
But wait, is your inner “guilty mom monster” siphoning away all motivation for you to dip into the harmonizing waters of self-care instead sticking you in a perpetuating cycle of putting your own needs last?
Let’s be done with that – let’s move you up on your list of priorities.
Begin weaving the following practices into your daily way of being so you can blossom into the most vibrant version of you.
I felt a heavy ball of mourning in the pit of my stomach the last time I breastfed my son; physically, it felt like there was a cheese grater scraping over my nipples (I knew it was time to stop), but emotionally, I felt like we could go on forever. My body had been weaning him for the previous six months, supplying less and less nectar, requiring heightened sucking and ample nip-soreness.
I began the cold turkey weaning with the white lie, “Not right now,” when he would ask to nurse. I was lying to us both, giving him the illusion that at a time that wasn’t “right now” I’d let him nurse, and I was giving my self the illusion that the most intense form of bonding either of us had ever known wasn’t really over.
After a week of “not right nows,” my son and my emotions caught on and we cried hard. Our relationship had forever shifted, and my relationship with my self was thrown into a blender.
Breastfeeding was like my parenting “fail safe”; what I could rely on to make myself feel like a decent parent even if I’d been distracted and totally un-fun that day. It was my mommy reset button.
Featured on Expectful! Whoop whoop!
After one read of Bailey Gaddis’s About Me page on her site, Your Serene Life, I knew I wanted to interview her for Moms Who Inspire because she’s insanely inspiring and hilarious.
During our conversation, I mentioned to Bailey that I find it hysterical that she admits in her bio that she can’t stop bragging about attending an event hosted by Michelle Obama at the White House. She laughed and went on to tell me that she was at an event that morning and bragged about it to the strangers next to her. “It’s just such a cool thing to have experienced, why not brag about it?” she said laughing.
This is Bailey Gaddis. funny, honest and high on life.
Bailey is the Author of Feng Shui Mommy (coming out May 2017), a Childbirth Preparation Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth Doula, travel addict and writer on all of the above. Bailey decided that she wanted to help women during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum after the birth of her first child. Using Hypno-anesthesia as a method for her labor, she was able to have a pain-free natural childbirth. This empowered her to want to help other women experience their own bliss during their motherhood journeys.
When speaking to Bailey, I asked her what the first few days were like after she gave birth. I ask this often to other moms as a way to bond over stories of sleepless nights and crying babies, but Bailey’s answer was one that opened my eyes to a different experience than my own.
She replied as if reliving the experience as she spoke, “Blissful.”
This isn’t the typical answer I receive and it’s not even close to how I describe the first few days of my motherhood path, but when she said it, my body filled with love. It was really beautiful to see a different perspective on what’s usually a difficult time.
I learned so much from Bailey in our brief conversation, and I’m so happy to share more below.
Bailey Gaddis Blog 