Category: Pregnancy
How to Have a Harmonized Childbirth
I Was The First To Get Pregnant
Be wary of a friend who uses your pregnancy as a soapbox for self-righteousness.
When I became pregnant in my mid-20s, it became the source of invasive gossip amongst my group of childless friends.
Many of my friends didn’t get it.
“A pregnancy? That you don’t want to end? But what about alcohol? You can’t drink alcohol when you’re pregnant, did you know that? And isn’t there a baby at the end of a pregnancy? Who will change the diapers?”
My pregnancy was unplanned, but still welcome. I was on birth control and my partner was just beginning graduate school. But the stars (or sperm and egg) still aligned. I immediately knew the pregnancy felt right, even though most people were telling me it was wrong.
My partner needed time to reconcile with the fact that he was going to be a dad and when many of our acquaintances heard this, they latched on.
Pregnancy Bagua Map
Toying around with a “pregnancy version” of a feng shui bagua map for the Feng Shui Mommy book 🙂 A work in progress, but having fun mixing the harmony of this ancient Chinese art into the magic of pregnancy and childbirth.
Oh, are you wondering what the heck a bagua map is? The bagua map (BAH-gwa) is a tool used in feng shui to learn which parts of a space correlate with particular areas of life.
My version helps you learn what areas of your life to nurture during different stages of your journey into motherhood.
You begin your journey in the watery North (1st trimester), explore the woods of the East (2nd trimester), absorb the warmth of the South (3rd trimester), then slide into the cool landscape of the West (4th trimester.)
At the center of it all is the grounding presence of the Earth, which holds the power to harmonize the light and dark moments of your journey (yin and yang.)
9 Ways to Bond With Your Unborn Baby
Are you nervous at the prospect of birthing a stranger? Sure, you love the little nugget floating in your uterus, but do you feel like you know them?
When I was pregnant, I had serious doubts about my ability to “do parenting well.” I felt wholly unprepared and feared the big P-D: postpartum depression.
Because I have control freak tendencies, I became consumed with putting in bonding work before my son was born — I had a deep need to get to know him before he was put in my arms.
Many of the following prenatal bonding activities are practiced in the HypnoBirthing (Mongan Method) childbirth preparation classes I teach, and some are pulled from my personal tinkering.
How to Stall Labor Interventions
Many doctors have places to go and other patients to see, so they like to move things along. But guess what: if you’re pregnant, you’re not sick — you’re not even a patient. You are a client of the doctor, moving through a natural and extraordinary transition in life. If you choose to accept a bit of intervention during the birthing process because you feel it is the right choice, I think that’s great.
As a doula, my frustration enters when interventions are pushed on women that do not want them — women who are comfortable and content with the progression of their labor, but have overzealous care providers pushing unnecessary needles, apparatuses, and drugs on them because the care provider wants to “get that baby out” pronto.
I don’t believe these care providers push medical assistance on birthing women to complicate their situation; I believe they do it because it’s what they know, and it’s what they were trained for. Many obstetricians who practice in hospitals were primarily educated to manage births that are flush with special circumstances — and that’s fabulous, I’m so grateful women who need that specialized care can receive it.
The Pregnant Woman’s Guide to Disney World
Are you pregnant? Do you like to tap into your childlike wonder? Do you enjoy the occasional giant cookie and churro? Perfect. You’re going to love Disney World.
You may not be able to free fall in the Tower of Terror, but you can still get your kicks on Safari (with real animals!), watch Broadway-level performers flip around while belting out a Disney ditty, or quell your pregnancy hot flashes in cool and comfy capsules that transport you through the Haunted Mansion.
Come to think of it, all of my favorite attractions (and the attractions my toddler can attend) are all pregnant lady-approved.
But before you hop on a ride …
Let’s Talk About Sex (After) Baby
11 Steps for a Blissful Birth, According to a Doula
People have laughed at me when I mention the word childbirth and bliss in the same sentence.
I’ve also seen multiple women have orgasmic births. Blissful, right?
The belief that childbirth is “painful, scary, and dangerous” is deeply embedded in our society. This ghost story originated in the days (a long time ago) when women in need of assistance during childbirth were denied needed care because they were seen as the “undeserving ill.” This is no longer our reality, yet the fear attached to it has persisted.
There is another way, a more gentle, comfortable, and joyful way.
As a mother, I used the steps below to have a challenging, yet (blissfully!) comfortable natural hospital birth. I’ve also seen many of my hypnobirthing and doula clients use the following techniques to have blissful medicated hospital births, home births, and everything in between.
10 Ways to Stop Birth Shaming
“If you don’t let us give you Pitocin, your baby could die.”
Her doctor said it with complete finality, but there was no medical evidence to back up his claim, as the midwife in the room attested to.
The doctor was on his fifth delivery of the day and was overheard telling a nurse he was ready to go home — and was playing golf later that day.
I’m a doula, and my client who shared this story with me, ended up having a C-section she feels she was pressured into.
Shame, which has sidled its way into the ingredients of our culture, commonly mixes into childbirth. Women are constantly being pushed to accept unnecessary interventions they’re not comfortable with, just to suit the needs of those that have a hand (often literally) in their birth experience.
There are of course beautiful exceptions to this rule in the form of doctors and midwives who put their clients’ needs first and only suggest intervention if it is medically needed or requested by the birthing woman. In fact, that needs to be the rule.
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Birth Oasis Basics
Sterile. Stiff. Bright. Harsh. Stressed. Cold. Loud.
Or…
Intimate. Soft. Glowing. Gentle. Calm. Comfortable. Quiet. Aromatic (in the most pleasant sense of the word).
Which list do you choose? The second? Me too.
Wouldn’t the characteristics of that second list make for a deeply nurturing birth environment?
Not surprisingly, a nurturing birth environment often equals a more gentle and comfortable birth.
Whether you’re having a home or hospital birth, these tips will help you manifest the birthing oasis of your (sometimes strange) pregnancy dreams:
- Low Lighting. Harsh overhead lighting sucks the positive energy out of a space. Opt for a few well placed lamps giving off subtle glows.
- Essential Oils. Choose your favorite essential oil/s and dab it on your pulse points, in your birthing tub, or essential oil diffuser. The diffuser is my favorite option as it gently disperses the scent throughout the room providing the calming, or stimulating, effect to everyone in the space. My favorites are lavender (calm) and peppermint (energizing- best for the last phase of labor.)
- Comfortable Temperatures. Adjust the thermostat as needed, or have a space heater and fan on hand to regulate your temperature, that will likely be in constant flux.
- Soft Materials. Ensure the materials on your birthing bed and body are soft and nurturing. You do not have to succumb to the one-size-fits-all hospital gowns (as lovely as they are.)
- Soft Voices. Place a ‘Quiet Please’ sign on your birthing room door and have your birthing companion remind your other supporters to speak in soft, calm, and positive tones.
- Favorite Colors. If you end up being an “eyes open” birth-er, you’ll want positive images and colors to use as your focal points. Paint your toes in your favorite color, ask your birth companions to wear this color, and bring in one or two peaceful images or items to set in your view line.
- Soothing Melodies. The murmurs of others, or the (sometimes traumatic) bustle of a hospital can be distracting. Have a portable speaker playing calming music or birthing specific relaxation recordings- or pop on your headphones to completely cancel out unwanted noise.
- Nom Noms. Have light, delicious, and nutritious snacks on hand for yourself and others. And water. Drink so much water. Water. Water. Water.
- A Higher Power. Invite a higher power (whatever that means to you) to enter the space and spiritually guide and support you through all phases of birth.
- What Makes You Feel Good? Meditate on that question and fill your birthing oasis with the answers.
The Gist- Make sure all six of your senses are positively supported in your birthing space.
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9 Things Your Vagina is Urgently Trying to Tell You Post-Baby
For the love of God woman, use a donut cushion!
Your vagina assumes a new personality after having a baby. It sheds its past insecurities and fears; it’s capable of learning. If your vagina can push out a baby, it can do anything.
The new personality of your vagina has some sage postpartum words for you, helping to integrate your new badass self with your new badass vagina. I’ll go ahead and assume the voice of your vagina, so let’s pretend she has a British accent.
1. I damn well deserve to be called by my proper name now.
Once your vagina has gone through the big girl task of birthing a baby, it deserves to be called by its proper name. No more “down there,” “va-jay-jay,” “pink lady,” or “my petunia.” It’s vagina, and Queen Vagina to the men.
Bailey Gaddis Blog 