She walked into my office and started crying. We had never met or spoken in person, but my first act was to grab a tissue and give her a hug. I didn’t know why she was crying — she was 25 weeks pregnant so I thought, “Pregnancy hormones?”
As I backed out of the hug, I saw her gaze fixed on something behind me: a rainbow scarf I had draped on the couch in my office.
“I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby,” she whispered. “And I feel so guilty.”
I’ll call her Allison; she was my new HypnoBirthing client.
Nothing makes you want your mommy like getting pregnant.
My first thought after peeing on that sacred stick was, “Oh shoot, where are we going to live?”
My husband, Eric, and I lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment that barely had enough space for his t-shirt collection.
Mom and dad lived thirty minutes away on an acre-and-a-half, in a house “much too large for them” that just so happened to have a semi-converted garage apartment. And my dad owns a construction company.
As my brother was about to go off to college, my parents were feeling the ache of their impending empty nest.
My husband rolled his eyes when I suggested he give my beauty routine a try — he thought I was kidding. I kept staring at him and he laughed at me. I continued staring at him and he agreed. Witchy woman powers y’all … I also told him I would pay him to do it.
He believes my beauty routine consists of magic potions, and he’s right. I mix different types of oils with just about everything, even my toothpaste. I also utilize a yummy array of essential oils to complement the power of coffee (and lack of sleeping pills I wish I could use).
Giving birth is beautiful. The result of your nine-month journey has come down to this: Getting to meet your child, and being gifted life’s greatest present: motherhood.
With that being said, birthing a baby can be stressful to your mind and body. However, there are practices you can learn to better improve your mental state and overcome your birthing fears, both physically and emotionally.
Here are the five principles for blissful childbirth—all easy-to-embrace tactics that will maximize your birthing experience.
Tid bits I shared for an article on “blissful childbirth.”
1. Relaxation
The tension–or relaxation–in your facial muscles have a direct correlation to your pelvic region. Throughout labor, periodically place your awareness on softening the muscles in your face and allowing your lower jaw to droop down- this will cause your pelvic region to gently relax and open. If you need extra inspiration, ask your partner for a juicy kiss.
2. Breathing
Your breath is the surest path to serenity and pain relief (for both you and baby) throughout childbirth. With each contraction, focus on slowly and fully inflating your abdomen with oxygen and exhaling to the same slow and full count. In between contractions, practice intentional and gentle breathing.
I had the pleasure of going on a mini-vacation to San Diego to chat about using simple Feng Shui tricks to create a serene nursery on Wake Up San Diego (see it here)…. and I met these guys!
Transitions are hard, especially when you’re a toddler. But, what if the hard edges of transition could be softened with a little song? That’s what I’ve started to infuse into my two-year-old son’s daily life- my off-key not-so-creative made-up tunes. Shockingly, he positively responds to my not-so-melodious ditties and has ceased throwing a tantrum when I announce that it’s time to transition from play time to nap time… and the toys need to be cleaned up.
Here are a few samples from my repertoire:
Clean Up Time- “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere. Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.” OK, I didn’t make this one up- thanks Barney!
What it looks like when a 2-year-old cleans up.
Nap Time- “Now it’s time to take a nap, take a nap, take a nap. Now it’s time to take a nap and have a little dream. Yawwwwn.”
Bath Time- “It’s time to scrub, scrub, scrub our hair, scrub our hair, scrub our hair. Now it’s time to scrub our hair and make it so clean!”
Lunch Time- “Let’s eat eat eat our lunch, eat our lunch, eat our lunch, let’s all eat our lunch and make our tummies sing!”
If my son starts singing the clean up song (and actually starts cleaning up) it’s a dead giveaway that he’s then going to ask for some ice cream or a movie, or both.
While all this singing has made life in my home easier, I was happy to discover that it’s also stimulating my son’s mental development. First 5 California (a free trusted online resource to help parents give their children the best possible start to life) has recently launched a Talk. Read. Sing ® campaign encouraging parents to talk, read, and sing to their children, specifically in the first five years of life.
According to First 5 California, “90% of a child’s brain develops in the first five years of life. The primary factors influencing this brain development are daily experiences, parent responsiveness, nutrition, physical activity, genetics, and love. Many of the actions that cause a child’s brain to light up are eating, hugging, playing, singing, sleeping, touching, talking, drawing, crying, reading, crawling, and walking.”
We’re pros at cuddling.
First 5 California offers fun ideas for how to incorporate more talking, reading, and singing into your kiddo’s life (for those days when you’re running on three hours of sleep, accidentally bought decaf coffee, and can’t remember where your shoes are, much less how to actively stimulate your child’s brain.) Check it out! My fave is ‘Make Your Own Music.’
All my singing usually leads into plenty of gabbing, and while my son may tire of my verbal stream of consciousness, First 5 California has informed me that all of these words are good for my little one. They report that, “research shows the more parents talk with their children, the larger vocabularies those children develop. So, use everyday moments – in the car, at the grocery store, during bath time – to talk to your child and teach her about the world around her. A child’s most intensive period for absorbing speech and language skills is during her first three years of life. These skills develop best in a world that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to speech.”
I was talking him through the making of a fort.
I’m making the commitment to myself, my son, (and you!) to actively infuse more talking, reading, and singing (and not just for transitions!) into my time with my little dude on the daily.
How do you talk, read, and sing to your children every day? I’m always seeking new ideas!
I recently had the fortune of rediscovering my fascination with how our world works. Science has an incredible ability to ignite a deep appreciation for the simple yet complex workings of our surroundings and inner world.
Where did this renewed zest for all things science come from you ask? Well lemme tell you. I was sent a simple experiment by the kind people over at Banooper, who are dedicated to “bringing science home”- providing a fun bonding activity for families (with plenty of learning snuck in there!) Kind of like those brownie recipes that call for a secret helping of spinach.
Banooper has an array of activities pulled from different areas of science- I was sent a ‘Vision Science’ experiment called Benham’s Disks. It explores (and explains) the way our eyes perceive color. We were provided a few patterned disks, wooden pins (to facilitate the spinning of the disks), a maker (my son’s favorite part) to draw our own pattern, and an instruction and explanation booklet (that was short, sweet, and simple, which this sleep-deprived mom greatly appreciated.)
My two-year-old was too young to appreciate the magic of the inner-workings of our eyes, but my five-year-old and nine-year-old nieces were fascinated by the process of discovery.
Another plus was that this experiment came in a small box and did not call for flour, glue, glitter, or any other fabulous yet exhausting common science experiment ingredient.
Next experiment, homemade volcano? Maybe when Nana is babysitting.
Collectively, much of humanity has developed a habit of dissolving into the vortex of technology; we log in to invisible connections and tune out physical surroundings. While technological capacities at our disposal can be fabulous when harmonized with the act of turning it all off, it’s the reconnection with nature and joy in time spent with family that matter.
Camping- a wonderful opportunity to forfeit cell service, leave power outlets behind, and go roll in the dirt with our kids.
Since it can be difficult to remember what the heck we did before screens, I wracked my memory and gathered a list of battery-free, family-fun activities to accompany an overnight stay in the woods. (It helps that I’m writing this while camping, with an ole’ fashion pen and pad of paper, alongside my toddler who is making dust angels.)
As I sat on the floor of our porch, watching my silent tears plop onto the dry concrete, I felt ashamed. I’m an adult – shouldn’t I be crying somewhere more appropriate, like a chair? And why was I wallowing? Shouldn’t I be doing something useful, like sending flowers to the immediate family of my deceased relative?
As my “grown up” brain pecked away at me, my two-year-old walked up, wiped the tears off my face with sweet pudgy little hands and wrapped his arms around my neck. He then proceeded to pat my back and hold me- not saying anything.
The light from the toddler sleeping heavens has finally shone down on my house, and my husband can now put our son to sleep. No, he hasn’t started lactating — Amazon sent the new parental phenomenon The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep by Carl-Johan Forssén Ehrlin.
The author, a Swedish psychologist, has written a purposely boring book about a rabbit that includes detailed instructions on how the parent (or any person desperate to get a child to sleep) should read the book. The instructions include prompts to yawn, words to emphasize, and areas where you slow your speech. These psychological techniques are intended to put the child into a sort of hypnosis that ends in a deep sleep. The book goes so far as to make the lofty claim that it can even coax the children most averse to bedtime into closing those little lids, and has a sign on the cover reading, “I can make anyone fall asleep.”
When this book first appeared on my radar, it sounded lovely in theory, but I was certain it wouldn’t have much of an effect on my child, similar to every single potty training technique I’ve ever heard. And teething rings.
I’m haunted by memories of art projects gone awry. Glue soaked hair, glitter ingrained carpet, paint splattered new pants, and tiny shreds of colorful paper … so much paper.
That’s why preschools exist isn’t it? So the teachers with Prozac-infused coffee can deal with the mess. Can you imagine 20 toddlers doing crafts? The horror!
Because I don’t want to win “World’s Most Boring Mom” for the second year in a row, I was compelled to find sanity-friendly art projects, ensuring my child has a cup or two of creative juices each day. Preferably juice that doesn’t end up spilled all over the living room couch.
These are my top seven sticky, shiny, tiny-free crafts for kids:
I live in the state of California, which makes me ‘kind of hippie’– at least according to the rest of world. I live in the town of Ojai, which makes me ‘really hippie’- at least according to the rest of California.
I found the following definition of the term ‘hippie’- a person of unconventional appearance, typically having long hair and wearing beads, associated with a subculture involving a rejection of conventional values and the taking of hallucinogenic drugs.
Okay, well I do have long hair, I have a few pairs of earrings with some beads on them, I reject the conventional value of only eating dessert after dinner, but, my wildest form of drug is the coffee I sip every morning, and sometimes every afternoon.
The word hippie is just a word, and it has a slightly different meaning for everyone.
These are my personal telltale signs of a modern day “hippie” mom (what are yours’?)
Once we’ve grown a human in our womb, gone through the adoption process, or struggled through surrogacy, we’re qualified for anything life can throw at us. At some point in our mothering career, we may get the urge to seek out a side job that pays in cold hard cash or through a direct deposit into our bank account.
Although I’m certain we would be stellar at being anything from astronauts to Olympic divers, I compiled a list of jobs that directly correlate with moms’ current skills.
1. Lifeguard at a Water Park: You obsess over the safety of others and blow a whistle every 30 seconds when they don’t obey the rules – and people actually listen. Respect the whistle.
10% of each sale of the online childbirth course is now being donated to the non-profit organization Every Mother Counts– dedicated to lowering global rates of infant and maternal mortality by making pregnancy and childbirth safer for every mother.
After many months of love, sweat, tears, and wisdom (from many badass women), the Feng Shui Mommy Online Course is up and running!
A holistic guide to staying balanced before, during, and after childbirth.
Utilize these 13 streaming videos, checklist downloads, relaxation recording downloads, and unlimited email support from the instructor, to harmonize your Mind, Body, and Spirit connection- leading you to a blissful pregnancy, orgasmic birth, and soul-soothing first steps into motherhood.
If you know any ladies who say YES! to any of these questions (or you are one) send them on over to the course site.
Would you like to create your optimal journey into motherhood?
Would you like to replace your fears with empowerment?
Would you like to be your best new self, living in your best new life, with your happy and healthy baby?
This course is like my second baby, so I hope you think she’s pretty 🙂
Some troubling news has come to my attention recently — that dads occasionally feel a bit left out, a tad on the outside, a little unappreciated.
As a mother, I confess that sometimes I secretly wish to be “left on the outside” so I can go get a massage without anyone hassling me. But who am I kidding, the feeling of being worshipped by tiny people makes me feel pretty good.
So let’s dish out some of that worship to the deserving dudes too. Many a dad out there works his keister off to contribute, and earn a few brownie points (ideally in the form of some actual brownies.)
Below are 10 (of the many) traits I believe a rad dad possesses, and I would like to make a call to action that we throw a few more bones (or brownies!) their way, when we see dads, partners, or papas exhibiting said awesomeness:
Disclaimer: Be prepared to read some tongue-in-cheekiness.
(Photos not included. You’re welcome.)
My 86 year-old Grandmother, who raised three children in the badlands of West Texas, recently mentioned that there needs to be a pee-on-the-go guide for well-hydrated mothers- so we made one.
As mothers, we live with a wide array of discomforts- kicked shins, Legos, brushing the teeth toddlers, bathing Tasmanian Devils, hunching over all.the.time, and eating soggy leftover crumbs, to name a few- we should not stand for a full bladder, we should not.
Sometimes a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.
This starter guide is meant to spark your imagination when fantasies of unoccupied toilets are swirling in your mind, and a child is pounding on your bladder- internally, or externally.
I’ve collected the following examples from my own piddle parties, those of fellow full-bladder-ed mamas, and my Grandmother.
You can pee…
In a diaper during bumper-to-bumper traffic.
If I don’t go now, my bladder might explode, rendering me incapable of driving, thus causing more traffic. It’s my civic duty to pee in that diaper.
In the shower.
I just soaped up, slathered on the shaving cream, and the Mount Vesuvius of urine erupted into my bladder. The baby is screaming and I had to leave for my appointment ten minutes ago- there is no time for rinsing and repeating. Pee here now.
In a hole, at the beach, while the partner holds a towel up.
But then, the wind picks up, giving the rowdy group of teenage boys a full moon view. Oh, I forgot to mention that the water is frigid and I “forgot” my bathing suit.
On the side of the road.
I’m on a road trip, there’s no sign of a sign for a rest stop, and all my attention needs to be utilized to calm the screaming small one.
Two feet away from the tent that’s 15 yards away from the “proper bathroom.”
The sleeping child’s mom radar will go off if I venture outside of the ten-foot force field.
In the potty training toilet.
Because my male counterpart has been in the bathroom forever, we only have one bathroom, it’s cold outside, and my three cups of coffee just had a let down.
In the pool.
No one will admit to this one but if we’re at the pool with our children, they’re all in the pool, and we have no adult support… Remember, we gotta do what we gotta do.
The Men’s Bathroom.
No line- enough said.
The secret employee bathroom in the grocery store.
Just do it.
In the pants.
On opposite day, this side effect of childbirth would be seen as a perk. After pushing a human out of my Ms. Twitchet (as my Grandmother used to call it) the act of jumping, laughing, or standing up too quickly might just cause a light sprinkle in my knickers. Yay.
The few times I didn’t let the good times flow I ended up with an urinary tract infection- no one has time for that.
I empower you to brush aside modesty, your stoic nature, and your pants when the urge for a piddle purge strikes.
There is a vicious, silent battle raging in the birthing world. Many feel that their way is the way, and those that do not subscribe are lost souls that need to be shown the light. The judgments that result from this birth battle often throw birthing women into shame, defense mode, or depression.
Instead of feeling like a badass for birthing a human, many women feel like traitors for not making the same decisions the women in their Mommy and Me class peddle.
She walked into my office and started crying. We had never met or spoken in person, but my first act was to grab a tissue and give her a hug. I didn’t know why she was crying — she was 25 weeks pregnant so I thought, “Pregnancy hormones?”
My husband rolled his eyes when I suggested he give my beauty routine a try — he thought I was kidding. I kept staring at him and he laughed at me. I continued staring at him and he agreed. Witchy woman powers y’all … I also told him I would pay him to do it.
Bailey Gaddis Blog 