Giving birth is beautiful. The result of your nine-month journey has come down to this: Getting to meet your child, and being gifted life’s greatest present: motherhood.
With that being said, birthing a baby can be stressful to your mind and body. However, there are practices you can learn to better improve your mental state and overcome your birthing fears, both physically and emotionally.
Here are the five principles for blissful childbirth—all easy-to-embrace tactics that will maximize your birthing experience.
So sorry to anyone who has to sit next to me on a plane.
It used to be so easy for me to fly that I could fall into such a deep state of sleep, I’d wake up drooling on the kind yet disgusted stranger next to me. I’m now the one being drooled on, as I have a series of hidden panic attacks with every jiggle of the plane (and non-jiggles, because it means a big one is coming).
What changed? I had a baby.
Mortality wasn’t a big topic in my inner dialogue until I became a mom. Control has always been a headline in my life — I like control. My need for control, coupled with my newfound preoccupation with mortality, has equaled mayhem when flying in a metal death trap.
Before arriving at the airport, I now take screenshots of statistics to assure me the metal death trap I drive in is much more dangerous than the one I fly in. But I have control over the car. I obsess over those screenshots until my conscious mind is convinced that flying is safe, statistically.
Tid bits I shared for an article on “blissful childbirth.”
1. Relaxation
The tension–or relaxation–in your facial muscles have a direct correlation to your pelvic region. Throughout labor, periodically place your awareness on softening the muscles in your face and allowing your lower jaw to droop down- this will cause your pelvic region to gently relax and open. If you need extra inspiration, ask your partner for a juicy kiss.
2. Breathing
Your breath is the surest path to serenity and pain relief (for both you and baby) throughout childbirth. With each contraction, focus on slowly and fully inflating your abdomen with oxygen and exhaling to the same slow and full count. In between contractions, practice intentional and gentle breathing.
I had the pleasure of going on a mini-vacation to San Diego to chat about using simple Feng Shui tricks to create a serene nursery on Wake Up San Diego (see it here)…. and I met these guys!
Transitions are hard, especially when you’re a toddler. But, what if the hard edges of transition could be softened with a little song? That’s what I’ve started to infuse into my two-year-old son’s daily life- my off-key not-so-creative made-up tunes. Shockingly, he positively responds to my not-so-melodious ditties and has ceased throwing a tantrum when I announce that it’s time to transition from play time to nap time… and the toys need to be cleaned up.
Here are a few samples from my repertoire:
Clean Up Time- “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere. Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.” OK, I didn’t make this one up- thanks Barney!
What it looks like when a 2-year-old cleans up.
Nap Time- “Now it’s time to take a nap, take a nap, take a nap. Now it’s time to take a nap and have a little dream. Yawwwwn.”
Bath Time- “It’s time to scrub, scrub, scrub our hair, scrub our hair, scrub our hair. Now it’s time to scrub our hair and make it so clean!”
Lunch Time- “Let’s eat eat eat our lunch, eat our lunch, eat our lunch, let’s all eat our lunch and make our tummies sing!”
If my son starts singing the clean up song (and actually starts cleaning up) it’s a dead giveaway that he’s then going to ask for some ice cream or a movie, or both.
While all this singing has made life in my home easier, I was happy to discover that it’s also stimulating my son’s mental development. First 5 California (a free trusted online resource to help parents give their children the best possible start to life) has recently launched a Talk. Read. Sing ® campaign encouraging parents to talk, read, and sing to their children, specifically in the first five years of life.
According to First 5 California, “90% of a child’s brain develops in the first five years of life. The primary factors influencing this brain development are daily experiences, parent responsiveness, nutrition, physical activity, genetics, and love. Many of the actions that cause a child’s brain to light up are eating, hugging, playing, singing, sleeping, touching, talking, drawing, crying, reading, crawling, and walking.”
We’re pros at cuddling.
First 5 California offers fun ideas for how to incorporate more talking, reading, and singing into your kiddo’s life (for those days when you’re running on three hours of sleep, accidentally bought decaf coffee, and can’t remember where your shoes are, much less how to actively stimulate your child’s brain.) Check it out! My fave is ‘Make Your Own Music.’
All my singing usually leads into plenty of gabbing, and while my son may tire of my verbal stream of consciousness, First 5 California has informed me that all of these words are good for my little one. They report that, “research shows the more parents talk with their children, the larger vocabularies those children develop. So, use everyday moments – in the car, at the grocery store, during bath time – to talk to your child and teach her about the world around her. A child’s most intensive period for absorbing speech and language skills is during her first three years of life. These skills develop best in a world that is rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to speech.”
I was talking him through the making of a fort.
I’m making the commitment to myself, my son, (and you!) to actively infuse more talking, reading, and singing (and not just for transitions!) into my time with my little dude on the daily.
How do you talk, read, and sing to your children every day? I’m always seeking new ideas!
I recently had the fortune of rediscovering my fascination with how our world works. Science has an incredible ability to ignite a deep appreciation for the simple yet complex workings of our surroundings and inner world.
Where did this renewed zest for all things science come from you ask? Well lemme tell you. I was sent a simple experiment by the kind people over at Banooper, who are dedicated to “bringing science home”- providing a fun bonding activity for families (with plenty of learning snuck in there!) Kind of like those brownie recipes that call for a secret helping of spinach.
Banooper has an array of activities pulled from different areas of science- I was sent a ‘Vision Science’ experiment called Benham’s Disks. It explores (and explains) the way our eyes perceive color. We were provided a few patterned disks, wooden pins (to facilitate the spinning of the disks), a maker (my son’s favorite part) to draw our own pattern, and an instruction and explanation booklet (that was short, sweet, and simple, which this sleep-deprived mom greatly appreciated.)
My two-year-old was too young to appreciate the magic of the inner-workings of our eyes, but my five-year-old and nine-year-old nieces were fascinated by the process of discovery.
Another plus was that this experiment came in a small box and did not call for flour, glue, glitter, or any other fabulous yet exhausting common science experiment ingredient.
Next experiment, homemade volcano? Maybe when Nana is babysitting.
Collectively, much of humanity has developed a habit of dissolving into the vortex of technology; we log in to invisible connections and tune out physical surroundings. While technological capacities at our disposal can be fabulous when harmonized with the act of turning it all off, it’s the reconnection with nature and joy in time spent with family that matter.
Camping- a wonderful opportunity to forfeit cell service, leave power outlets behind, and go roll in the dirt with our kids.
Since it can be difficult to remember what the heck we did before screens, I wracked my memory and gathered a list of battery-free, family-fun activities to accompany an overnight stay in the woods. (It helps that I’m writing this while camping, with an ole’ fashion pen and pad of paper, alongside my toddler who is making dust angels.)
As I sat on the floor of our porch, watching my silent tears plop onto the dry concrete, I felt ashamed. I’m an adult – shouldn’t I be crying somewhere more appropriate, like a chair? And why was I wallowing? Shouldn’t I be doing something useful, like sending flowers to the immediate family of my deceased relative?
As my “grown up” brain pecked away at me, my two-year-old walked up, wiped the tears off my face with sweet pudgy little hands and wrapped his arms around my neck. He then proceeded to pat my back and hold me- not saying anything.
The light from the toddler sleeping heavens has finally shone down on my house, and my husband can now put our son to sleep. No, he hasn’t started lactating — Amazon sent the new parental phenomenon The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep by Carl-Johan Forssén Ehrlin.
The author, a Swedish psychologist, has written a purposely boring book about a rabbit that includes detailed instructions on how the parent (or any person desperate to get a child to sleep) should read the book. The instructions include prompts to yawn, words to emphasize, and areas where you slow your speech. These psychological techniques are intended to put the child into a sort of hypnosis that ends in a deep sleep. The book goes so far as to make the lofty claim that it can even coax the children most averse to bedtime into closing those little lids, and has a sign on the cover reading, “I can make anyone fall asleep.”
When this book first appeared on my radar, it sounded lovely in theory, but I was certain it wouldn’t have much of an effect on my child, similar to every single potty training technique I’ve ever heard. And teething rings.
I’m haunted by memories of art projects gone awry. Glue soaked hair, glitter ingrained carpet, paint splattered new pants, and tiny shreds of colorful paper … so much paper.
That’s why preschools exist isn’t it? So the teachers with Prozac-infused coffee can deal with the mess. Can you imagine 20 toddlers doing crafts? The horror!
Because I don’t want to win “World’s Most Boring Mom” for the second year in a row, I was compelled to find sanity-friendly art projects, ensuring my child has a cup or two of creative juices each day. Preferably juice that doesn’t end up spilled all over the living room couch.
These are my top seven sticky, shiny, tiny-free crafts for kids:
I live in the state of California, which makes me ‘kind of hippie’– at least according to the rest of world. I live in the town of Ojai, which makes me ‘really hippie’- at least according to the rest of California.
I found the following definition of the term ‘hippie’- a person of unconventional appearance, typically having long hair and wearing beads, associated with a subculture involving a rejection of conventional values and the taking of hallucinogenic drugs.
Okay, well I do have long hair, I have a few pairs of earrings with some beads on them, I reject the conventional value of only eating dessert after dinner, but, my wildest form of drug is the coffee I sip every morning, and sometimes every afternoon.
The word hippie is just a word, and it has a slightly different meaning for everyone.
These are my personal telltale signs of a modern day “hippie” mom (what are yours’?)
Once we’ve grown a human in our womb, gone through the adoption process, or struggled through surrogacy, we’re qualified for anything life can throw at us. At some point in our mothering career, we may get the urge to seek out a side job that pays in cold hard cash or through a direct deposit into our bank account.
Although I’m certain we would be stellar at being anything from astronauts to Olympic divers, I compiled a list of jobs that directly correlate with moms’ current skills.
1. Lifeguard at a Water Park: You obsess over the safety of others and blow a whistle every 30 seconds when they don’t obey the rules – and people actually listen. Respect the whistle.
10% of each sale of the online childbirth course is now being donated to the non-profit organization Every Mother Counts– dedicated to lowering global rates of infant and maternal mortality by making pregnancy and childbirth safer for every mother.
After many months of love, sweat, tears, and wisdom (from many badass women), the Feng Shui Mommy Online Course is up and running!
A holistic guide to staying balanced before, during, and after childbirth.
Utilize these 13 streaming videos, checklist downloads, relaxation recording downloads, and unlimited email support from the instructor, to harmonize your Mind, Body, and Spirit connection- leading you to a blissful pregnancy, orgasmic birth, and soul-soothing first steps into motherhood.
If you know any ladies who say YES! to any of these questions (or you are one) send them on over to the course site.
Would you like to create your optimal journey into motherhood?
Would you like to replace your fears with empowerment?
Would you like to be your best new self, living in your best new life, with your happy and healthy baby?
This course is like my second baby, so I hope you think she’s pretty 🙂
Some troubling news has come to my attention recently — that dads occasionally feel a bit left out, a tad on the outside, a little unappreciated.
As a mother, I confess that sometimes I secretly wish to be “left on the outside” so I can go get a massage without anyone hassling me. But who am I kidding, the feeling of being worshipped by tiny people makes me feel pretty good.
So let’s dish out some of that worship to the deserving dudes too. Many a dad out there works his keister off to contribute, and earn a few brownie points (ideally in the form of some actual brownies.)
Below are 10 (of the many) traits I believe a rad dad possesses, and I would like to make a call to action that we throw a few more bones (or brownies!) their way, when we see dads, partners, or papas exhibiting said awesomeness:
I used to wake from a dead sleep, crawl out of bed and slog into my closet to ensure my shoes were properly lined up.
I once declined joining my family for a beach day because I “needed” to clean the stove.
In fifth grade, I cried when I received a B in math.
The fruitless pursuit of perfection used to devour my joy. My tunnel vision only allowed me to view the imperfect minute details that needed tweaking, while real life lived outside that tunnel.
I experienced blips of relief when everything was “in its place,” but these moments were fleeting and were quickly wiped away by a new email flush with to-dos, a small human walking into my home and living life, or the general passage of time.
The journey to motherhood is flush with quicksand, stool softeners, thorns in the sciatic nerve, secret all-you-can-eat-buffets, justified temper-tantrums, loose gravel, flash in the pan “Must Have!” child-soothing gizmos and ill-timed gas.
This road is worth traveling. When we first become parents, we pick up a chubby ball of yummy-smelling deliciousness, but somehow, many of us get lost along the way.
We need directions, and not to prevent stumbles, potholes and occasional avalanches of ice cream; we need them to remind us the bizarre paths we wander down are well-trodden and flanked with supportive been-there, tripped-over-that mommas.
Remember the ditty ‘Do Your Ears Hang Low?’ Well, I’ve tweaked the lyrics a bit to apply to my current situation. Here goes:
Do your boobs sag down, do they jiggle to and fro? Do they swing to the right and then reach down to the floor?
Mine do.
At least I think they’re mine.
The postpartum boob transformation occurred quicker than the flick of a baby finger. “My” breasts were small, perky and fluid-free. These new things attached to my chest are droopy bags — albeit fabulous droopy bags. They fill with and distribute milk — fabulous — but they’re just so different and devoid of perkiness.
And “my” stomach, where did that come from? It’s flattish, wide and different. It’s so different from the stomach I came to know so well.
Come to think of it, the only parts of my naked postpartum body I recognize are my knee caps. They’re not saggy. Yet.
I’ve developed a proclivity for habits my (naïve) pre-baby self would have deemed nonsensical. I’ve tried many forms of therapy — self-hypnosis, journaling, and chocolate (hoping to replace one habit with another), but nothing seems to kick my motherly addiction to the following …
1. Talking about baby’s bodily fluids, to everyone, even the nice teenage grocery store clerk who asks me how my day has been.
Bailey Gaddis Blog 