mom humor – Bailey Gaddis Blog

Childbirth, Mom Humor, Pregnancy, Reviews and Giveaways

I’m So Pregnant: An illustrated look at the ups and downs (and everything in between) of pregnancy – Review

March 9, 2017March 9, 2017 baileysandbabiesblog

Imsopregnanct

While pregnancy is magical, transformative, and full of comfy maternity jeans, it can also be weird, exhausting, and full of barfy moments – we need to maintain a healthy sense of humor to make it through.

The book I’m So Pregnant, by Norwegian illustrator and animator Line Severinsen, splashes you in the face with the awkwardness of pregnancy while making you think “OK fine, I guess my play dough feet, occasional incontinence, and hormonal surges are kind of funny.”

Composed of a collection of illustrations that take you through the messy roller coaster of the three trimesters, I’m So Pregnant provides quick and effective visuals reminding you that you’re not alone (and that pooping during birth is super normal.)

So, as you’re skimming through your pregnancy and childbirth tomes (like Feng Shui Mommy! Yay!), keep this gem of humor close by to help you lighten up and feel OK (even excited!) about mucous coming out of your body – yes, it’s a thing.

Clicky here to get your copy.

Mom Humor, Uncategorized

25 Thing I Tell My Toddler (That I Should Be Telling Myself)

January 7, 2016 baileysandbabiesblog

I’m not sure if this photo relates- but I wanted to post it.

I’m quick with the requests (demands) for my toddler, but not so quick to follow my own seemingly wise words. What if those words were translated by my “good angel” into advice that helped me curb a few of my less-than-stellar habits?

I’m giving that good angel (who is more likely an opinionated fairy) a moment to shine and respond to all the chitchat I’m consistently doling out to my son.

1. Only one cup of juice.

Only one cup of wine.

2. Sugar and fried foods will make you tired.

Sugar and fried foods will make you tired, cranky, puffy, lazy, and hungry.

3. Clean up before you move to another activity.

Close your 15 browser windows before you open a new one to browse Amazon.

Directions to Motherhood

June 1, 2015June 1, 2015 baileysandbabiesblog

The journey to motherhood is flush with quicksand, stool softeners, thorns in the sciatic nerve, secret all-you-can-eat-buffets, justified temper-tantrums, loose gravel, flash in the pan “Must Have!” child-soothing gizmos and ill-timed gas.

This road is worth traveling. When we first become parents, we pick up a chubby ball of yummy-smelling deliciousness, but somehow, many of us get lost along the way.

We need directions, and not to prevent stumbles, potholes and occasional avalanches of ice cream; we need them to remind us the bizarre paths we wander down are well-trodden and flanked with supportive been-there, tripped-over-that mommas.

31 Strange Addictions Only Moms Understand

May 28, 2015May 28, 2015 baileysandbabiesblog

I’ve developed a proclivity for habits my (naïve) pre-baby self would have deemed nonsensical. I’ve tried many forms of therapy — self-hypnosis, journaling, and chocolate (hoping to replace one habit with another), but nothing seems to kick my motherly addiction to the following …

1. Talking about baby’s bodily fluids, to everyone, even the nice teenage grocery store clerk who asks me how my day has been.

The Five Styles of Toddlerhood

March 24, 2015March 24, 2015 baileysandbabiesblog

Now on Scary Mommy!

Mom Humor

The 10 Commandments of Your First Mom-Friend Date

March 17, 2015March 18, 2015 baileysandbabiesblog

Forget romantic dates with actual real life men. Now that you’re a mom, you’re facing something even more terrifying: mom dates. A first-time mom date can be even more fraught with anxiety than a romantic date. Although hanky-panky is off the table, the potential for mom shaming, guilt, and the hopes that you just may be meeting the love of your mommy-friend life abounds.

I Envision Other Mothers….

March 11, 2015March 11, 2015 baileysandbabiesblog

I envision other mothers prepping three course (food pyramid approved) meals for their children, three times a day…

While I make scrambled eggs in the microwave… three times a day.

I envision other mothers spending a leisurely thirty minutes talking their tot through a gentle diaper change…

While I beg my child not to smear poop on my face as I haphazardly diaper him as we’re rushing out the door to the Mommy and Me (fill in the blank) class we’re inevitably late for.

I envision other mothers having the television removed from the home the instant they learn an impressionable new little human is growing within them….

While I frantically try to figure out how to get to the Netflix Kids app so I can have two uninterrupted minutes to scrub the microwave eggs out of the carpet, and my hair.

I envision other mothers mystically stretching time and completing all laundry, bathing, clothing, feeding, watering (of themselves and their children,) cleaning their shelter, and laughing (it’s most certainly a basic need,) ALL. IN. ONE. DAY.

While I spread out our basic needs over the course of a week, with the exception of laughing, we do plenty of that.

I envision other mothers prepping a developmentally appropriate art project for kiddo/s each day of the week….

While I consider arranging our spaghetti (with a side of microwave eggs) into abstract shapes during dinner, art project enough.

I envision other mothers polishing off thoughtful and inspiring replies to all 55 of their emails, in one hour, and shutting down the computer for the rest of the day…

While I pull out my cell phone, laptop, or tablet thingy 367 times a day in an attempt to get out any response to the 16 emails I have sitting in my Inbox.

I envision other mothers leaving helpful, humorous, and heartfelt posts on their online ‘Mom Group’ of choice…

While I’m fortunate if I can shoot off an incredibly helpful, ‘Me too!’ or ‘That Sucks!’

I envision other mothers taking an adorable holiday card photo in June, pre-ordering the cards by September, and shipping them out, complete with a tastefully witty ‘Our Year in Review’ letter, by November 29^th….

While I post a ‘Happy Holidays’ photo of my child on Facebook on January 3^rd, hoping all the relevant relatives see it.

I envision other mothers writing the next great American novel, or blog, during their child’s three-hour naps….

While I attempt to type out ONE SENTENCE as my child simultaneously kicks my typing hand and bites my boob. (I started writing this two weeks ago.)

I envision other mothers being really cool and cutting me way too much slack for all the lazy mom-isms I’m guilty of….

While I have a good laugh with my kiddo, and remember that, hey girl, it’s all good.