Mind-Body-Spirit, Parenting, Self Love, Uncategorized

Volunteering For New Moms Saved My Life

IMG_2078I had very negative (sometimes cruel) things to say to myself before I started “selfishly” giving to others.

The giving began shortly after I had my first panic attack. My son was 4 months old and I thought very little of my skills as a caregiver, had a sudden loss of love for myself, and a sense of unworthiness for all the beautiful drops of fortune in my life. The strength of the panic grew so intense I was put on medication.

The medication would help for a few hours, then I felt shame and guilt for having to take medication. I needed a pill that offered a paradigm shift.

My mom offered something better. She recommended I volunteer for a local organization that pairs trained volunteers with new mothers who have very little support and low income. It seemed crazy, seeing as how I was a new mother with little support and low income, but I was compelled to volunteer. I had to organize childcare for my baby during the training and volunteer sessions, but I knew I had to do this to become the mother my child deserved.

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5 Ways You Receive Through Giving Back


There is a trapdoor of love, which opens within us, as we release our fervent grasp on our time and gift it to others.

I’m a mother, a mother to an 18-month-old perkily precocious toddler/ runner. I, like most mothers, have piles of peed on baby laundry, dirty floors that desperately need a thorough wash, healthy meals that needed to be cooked (a week ago,) a baby raising partner who feels a tad bit neglected, in more ways than one, and a baby who desires my rapt attention ALL. THE. TIME. To put it simply, mothering is hard (and let’s not forget draining.)

With that said, I made the decision with the coming of the New Year to step outside of my hourglass of time and give to others; and not just give my money, but my time.

I decided to give my time to another mother.

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Now, you may muse at this time that I’m a bit peculiar for choosing to go help another mother fold her laundry, clean her floors, cook some food, soothe her fussy baby, and do other mom-ish-esque tasks when I have my own fore mentioned unending list of mom chores to attend to; but let me tell you, it’s been phenomenal, in a wholeheartedly un-sarcastic meaning of the word.

The opportunity to volunteer in the home of a fellow mother, who was even more overloaded than myself, felt an easy choice for where I would place my gift of time. ‘I get it, I know, I feel the unspoken emotions, concerns, joys, and pressures that course through you fellow mama, and I’m here for you.’

My time with this family has opened my eyes, opened my mind, and opened my heart to the true potential that the gift of time, support, and unconditional love can give to not just those you serve, but you. You are the ultimate receiver when you gift your time.

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These are five of the transformations that can occur when you discover the wonderful world of volunteering:

  1. Stepping Out of the Enticing Comfort Zone. Volunteer work pops a little hole in the bubble we live in and slowly busts us through and out, into a vibrant new world, where we are intimately exposed to those who are not in our immediate sphere of community. The rote tasks of daily life cause us to pigeonhole ourselves into a self-induced comfortable mold. We release the constraints this mold has on us by choosing to step out and do something for someone else, that will not bring direct monetary gain, or critical acclaim.
  1. Changing the World. You might not feel that helping one person, or one family will do much towards healing the crises our world is facing, but think again. If you, if I, if we each made the choice to step outside ourselves and lend a loving hand to another, and those that we touched then extended their hand to another, and a snowball of love slowly rolled through us all, we might just be able to begin to produce global healing. My volunteer work has sparked a newfound sense of global hope inside of me, and it feels really good.
  1. Renewing of Perspective. All strife, struggle, and sacrifice is valid, but, exposing our hearts to the strife, struggle, and sacrifice of others has the potential to transform our perspective, of our own internal turmoil, to that of, well, gratitude. Many times, when exposed to the core obstacles others are facing, we would happily stick with our own.
  1. Overwhelming Sense of Gratitude. When you experience the power of the change, hope, or simple smile you’re able to elicit in another, with the gift of your time, your world will open up to love, your flood gates of gratitude will be released, and there’s no going back. When you tap into the power of you, the power you hold within yourself that can be released through the simple act of just being there for another, especially a stranger, you’ll never see the world through the same eyes. Everything will now have an extra tinge of beauty, light, and irrevocable love. 
  1. Learning to Be Here It’s all here, everything we need, right here, right now. All we need to do to accept it and cease living in yesterday, or tomorrow, or two hours from now, but NOW. Live here right now. When you’re gifting your time, you’re there, right in that moment. You’ve stopped focusing on the email you need to send, the dry cleaning you need to pick up, or the cookies you need to go home and burn, because you’re there, in the moment, helping someone else make their life better, it’s not about you, and there is something so profoundly freeing when that realization hits. ‘I’m free to be here, right now, because that’s the only way I will truly help this individual, by being present for them in this moment.’ I was pleasantly surprised to find that if I wanted it to, the sense of now would follow me home and hang out with me long after I ended my volunteer work.

I used to think of volunteer work as something I would do “some day,” when I didn’t have as much “stuff” going on in my own life. I viewed it as a luxury of the rich or retired. What I’ve since discovered is that serving, volunteering, and giving, is not a luxury that should be put to “some day,” but is a basic human need. If I want to continue to not just survive, but thrive, I need to serve.